Joining a cult is never someone’s first goal. It appears at first that the group will achieve a goal or fulfill a need. At least to some extent, it seems to work at first for the majority of people.
A recent documentary on Netflix followed members of the Twin Flames Universe community as they took part in online soulmate discovery classes. It appeared like Twin Flames had given its members a sense of community. The former members claim that the group controlled every part of their lives. These assertions “distort” their “true aims and methods” and “misrepresent the autonomy of our community members,” according to a statement on the group’s website.
When it comes to high-demand religious groups or cults, why do people quit, and what can you do to assist someone who is stuck? Every situation calls for a different response. An individual’s unique traits, the dynamics of the group, and external factors are all crucial considerations.
If you want accurate news, you should listen to experts.
A slow but steady decline may occur for some. The traditional cult-like group promotes complete seclusion from the outside world, including friends, family, and coworkers. However, the allure of an increasingly demanding organization may diminish if an individual persists in engaging with other activities and groups.
When a group crosses an ethical line or when the hypocrisy of a leader becomes apparent, some people’s thoughts and beliefs shift dramatically. At times, multiple individuals depart simultaneously.
It may get more difficult to leave, though, as the duration and intensity of commitment grow. The “sunk costs” effect plays a role in this. Spending all your money on “training” and severing all relationships with loved ones makes starting anew that much more difficult. Also, a lot of people are involved in the group’s destructive actions, either as victims or as perpetrators. Feeling ashamed or stigmatized does not help one to leave any easier.
Is There Anything You Can Do to Prevent a Loved One From Becoming a Cult Member?
Pay attention to the words you use.
A third party’s intervention can help prevent further indoctrination, but the language used in conversations must be carefully chosen.
Evidence from studies of former members of high-demand organizations suggests it can be useful for:
- Do your best to keep in touch in a helpful way
- Disregard the individual’s worth
- Show interest and conduct research
- Inquire about particular group members that may be cause for concern.
If someone is enthusiastic about joining a new group, you shouldn’t accuse them of being brainwashed or a member of a cult. Using terminology related to cults can often cause individuals at this stage of their journey to feel alienated from society.
It is frequently said that others outside the group will not be able to comprehend the convert’s experiences. Accusing the group of being a cult can strengthen that perception.
Read Up on the Topic
There are typically both “pulls” (attractive aspects of the group) and “pushes” (personal goals for change) when someone joins a popular religious group. People might be encouraged to think about themselves and make more active decisions by exploring and understanding these pushes and pulls.
Figure out what it is about this group that could be troublesome. To help members of the group prepare for potential problems, it can be useful to ask them questions about things they are likely to face.
Take this case in point:
- Imagine for a second a world where you were told you could never speak to your loved ones again. Does that meet ethical standards? In what ways will they react to your departure from their lives?
- In your opinion, how much should we invest in this group?
Putting money aside “in case” things change with the group could be a wise move.
Inspire Analytical Thinking
In their efforts to get people to believe in their ideology, some groups resort to using “thought-terminating clichés,” or overused phrases that prevent them from thinking critically.
For instance, one may say that “karma” is to blame when bad things happen or when people become sick, and “self-cherishing” or “promoting ego” would be another way of describing those who prioritize their own material and emotional demands. Gently providing different ideas as possibilities is a good way to challenge these answers.
Some communities are known for their incessant probing and reinterpretation of members’ lived realities. Accusations of “lack of faith” or directives “to meditate on your negative mind” are two examples of how an authoritative figure could divert attention away from a member’s legitimate concerns about an official decision. People may experience disorientation, physical illness, and questions about their sanity as a result of this type of behavior, which is similar to gaslighting, in which one is led to distrust one’s memory, thoughts, and sensations.
The questions posed above are a good example of the kind that can help people reflect on their own experiences and values while also opening their minds to new ideas. As a result, individuals are better able to keep in touch with their moral compass and think critically about group justifications for bad actions.
Even if they’re deeply embedded in the organization, it’s worth making an effort to maintain communication. People can feel more at ease when they know someone is out there, even if it’s just to say hello on holidays and birthdays. Close family ties outside of the movement were vital to those who left the cult, according to a recent study of cult members’ relatives.
Life After A Cult
Leaving a religious community is an emotional and varied process. Some people may physically separate themselves from a group, but they may hold on to parts of their ideology and even their behaviors even after they’ve left. People who follow L. Ron Hubbard’s methods outside of the official Church of Scientology institutions formed a group called the Free Zone Scientology.
Also, it’s not uncommon for ex-members to keep in touch with current members, especially if they have relatives who are still active. Even if they opt not to formally repudiate the group, they may still drastically alter their worldview to differ from that of the group.
When you leave a high-demand group, it can be difficult to get back on your feet financially and socially. Building new relationships and a better sense of who you are requires “extensive emotional effort,” according to a recent study. Finding housing, employment, or educational opportunities may necessitate some basic practical assistance for some. Talking to people who understand what they’re going through is a powerful and affirming experience for many.
Allowing those who leave time and a secure place to reflect on their experiences can help. In most cases, consulting a trained counselor is the way to go for this type of work. Both the initial attraction and the subsequent disenchantment with these high-demand groups are evidence of how potent our need for social relationships is.
